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December 14, 2016

2

The Fifth Annual RealtyLab Night Before Christmas

by mark mclean

‘Twas the night before Christmas when I sat down to think
About the year that had past… God, I need a stiff drink.
To all that are listening please sit back and prepare
For a recap that will leave you on the edge of your chair.

For buyers who bought, all snug in their beds
While double digit increases dance in their heads
And sellers relaxing, on heap loads of money
Take less than asking? Well That’s pretty funny

When out on the street there arose such a clatter
I sprang to my iPad to see what’s the matter.
In Vancouver they established a tax on a buyer
Chinese or elsewhere…a real high flier.

And if that home sat vacant unused
Another new tax left foreigners confused.
The government declared, there’s no time to wait
We need this tax this now, before it’s too late

Back in The six we had worries too
As cbc’s marketplace gave us a surprising view
Of a few tricky agents making eye popping claims
And reco’ s response of shock….we need names!

Please out them right now we’ll double our efforts
We’ll increase our fines, and hire some experts
Because quite frankly we’re in a cash crunch
And tomorrow is our annual holiday brunch

But reco was not trebs biggest concern
Let’s leave it to OREA, let’s give them a turn
Let’s let Hudak drive this bus
Give him a chance to talk and discuss

So that treb could continue the competition fight
Which continues, you know, right into the night
No matter the bureaus claims on the law
Disregarding privacy is their one biggest flaw

We need, said our leaders, to speak up on taxes
They’re hurting our buyers whatever their chances
And we need more housing, supply is too tight
Speed up development lets get this thing right

To complicate matters there was a movement down south
To confirm a new leader, a scoundrel a mouth
Trump was elected to everyone’s surprise
And thousands of Americans took to the skies

His hair was mistaken for an escaped capybara
And his eyes were as red as sauce marinara
“Better leave now” he said with a drawl
“To protect my klan, I’m building a wall”

Now Schumer, now Handler, now Stewart and Miley
On Baldwin, on Babs, on Snoop Dog and Woopie
The celebrities led the exodus forth
To the land they call Hollywood North

And on they fled to this side of the border
The land of a liberal new world order
Today, they said, is the start of our plan
To move far away from that awesome orange tan

Americans had Pokemon to show them our city
All the cool places… the flashy, the gritty
And they called on our realtors to secure a sweet pad
Living in the t-dot wasn’t all that bad

Sure it’s tougher to get a Kardasian update
But relax young Americans we have Will and Kate
You’ll love living here at least that’s the theory
We’ve got a few years before prime minister O’Leary.

My phone was alive with hundreds of callers
Looking for homes with American dollars
This is shaping up to be my best year yet
My staff is excited and I’ll soon be out of debt

I need to find listings those Yankees can’t wait
Right now I have buyers, at least 7 or 8
And this just the start of the great Trump escape
Moving to Toronto requires little red tape

So I sprang to my car, with a win and a whistle,
And headed downtown like the down of a thistle.
I exclaimed as left and drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night”

Mark McLean is the Broker/Manager at the Bosley Real Estate Queen St W office, the Immediate Past President the Toronto Real Estate Board and a director at the Ontario Real estate Association . The opinions expressed here do not reflect the opinions of TREB, OREA or Bosley RE

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2 Comments Post a comment
  1. Roger Martins
    Dec 14 2016

    Amazing! May I share on our brokerage Facebook page with credit and link to your website?

    Reply

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